Making Do

It’s probably not the best way to start a marriage…getting hitched and then going back to your regular separate lives halfway across the country from each other.   And there are likely several logistical reasons we maybe should have waited.  But hell, we were never ones to do things the easy way.  The truth is, I’m not sure how we would have done this differently.  Each step has had its own array of consequent options, but only one apparent “best” way forward.

Frustrating though it is, we are holding strong.  As we work out the details of our inexorable geographical co-location it’s starting to feel better and better. 

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The Beginning

3/29/15

We have the kind of chemistry you read about in romance novels.  He can throw me a look and melt me into quivering panting mess.  I can drive him to distraction with a few choice words or a slight touch.  It’s not just “new” relationship chemistry…we’ve had this spark between us nearly as long as we’ve known each other!  You wouldn’t know what a sizzling pair we are just to look at us, unless you caught us at just the right moment.  We are not models, nor could either of us be described as classically beautiful/handsome.  I’m too short and a little heavier than I’d like, with bulges that I fear nudge the eye away from the curves I do have.  At best, I’d consider myself cute.  He’s tall, skinny, hates his nose and doesn’t think he’s much to look at.  But to him, I’m the hottest, most erotically fascinating woman on earth, and to me, he’s the most handsome, sexiest stud I have ever known.  The passion between us has driven us to do and say some truly wild and crazy things.

In the beginning, we had no idea what to do with our chemistry.  He went for it with all the gusto of a 15-year-old in love (which he was), and ended up wielding it with all the dexterity of a Neanderthal discovering for the first time that a large branch could be used as a club.  I, on the other hand, was terrified of the fire between us, what it meant, and how it might affect me, so I ran, screaming, for the hills.  Well, figuratively, anyway.  I wanted to “be friends” because he fascinated me, but it certainly would not have done to let him get too close.  And so developed the epic love/hate story of our junior and senior high school years.  No, I can’t actually admit to exaggerating this…most, if not all, of our classmates, many outside of our class, and certainly the teachers and administrators all knew there was “something” going on between us and had an opinion on the subject.

Fast forward to today.  We have been happily married a week.  Of that week, we only got two nights to spend together as a married couple, and then we had to go back to our “normal” lives for the time being.  It’s not going to be easy.  Since we officially entered into a relationship just under 22 months ago we have been flying by the seat of our pants attached to our heartstrings.  An awkward, dizzying, and sometimes terrifying journey, but also, sweet, joyous, and often exhilarating.  In practical terms, it basically means we have no plan.  I’m finding that it works best that way.  This is not to say that we don’t have dreams, goals, and aspirations, but any plan we have made extends no more than a few weeks into the future.

Maybe someday we will work up to a larger, longer plan, but I really don’t know what that would do to us, so for now we just take what we have.  We live across the country from each other, with weighty family responsibilities and logistical constraints that would challenge the foremost project managers around.  We have a deep and abiding love for each other.  We found a way to get married within 5 weeks of getting engaged, despite monumental barriers.  There is nothing we can’t do with a little time and a LOT of love.

A week ago we finally joined our steps in the dance of life after 25 years of friendship.  It’s been an incredible journey getting here, and I know it’s just going to get better from here on out.  So begins our awesome adventure…together.  🙂

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